Justine cheats and "writes" a post of quotes

So, I don't know if this is ethical or not, or maybe even legal. But I'm from an era in which students frequently saw each others' grades and teachers used sample student papers to demonstrate "good" and "bad" writing, so I don't think that posting a few anonymous highlights from the student projects I recently read will do any harm. After all, I'm not making fun of the writers! I'm sure when I started writing German, I wrote stuff that sounded like this. In fact, it's quite likely that I still do. And I sincerely hope, if this is the case, that some native Germans get at least as much pleasure out of my mistakes as I did out of these.

"Mayby in Dublin exist a little Xylophone orchestrere which is playing at some pubs, but neither I believe this really."

"In 1949 Ireland was Freelance."

"These were about 500,000 up to 1 million human."

"In this pub have already drunk Charles Dickens and WM Thackeray some drink."

"It's bigger than Ireland and has more purples."

"The London Eye has 1000 caller a day."

"Xmas's for Christmas. X is for Chris and mas is for mas. In Germany the word Xmas was the most nerved word. Some people celebrate Xmas, although they don't know why we celebrate Xmas."

"Festival is the 25th of December, the Christmas Day, Catholic (Solemnity of the Nativity, the celebrations on the even, on Christmas Eve and Holy Night, Christmas Eve, December 24) to begin."

And the best one of all: a whole half-page "report" on how St. Patrick expelled the queues from Ireland. The joke is multi-layered yet simple. Queue = line of people. Schlange (in German) = line of people. Schlange (also) = snake. So thus snakes become queues, and Ireland becomes a great place to run errands.

And then there were a few things that weren't funny for containing mistakes, but were great because of how they combined content and language. For example: "There was a big fire in the year 1666 but now the church is OK." Or the advice, "If you haven't problems you shouldn't come to Ireland." Or, my favorite, on London's Natural History Museum: "You see and experience there many different things f.e.: the carcass of a Tyrannosaurus Rex, the development of the world, a volcanic eruption." Must be one heck of a place. But I guess that's just how things are on the British Isles. Here's a final inspirational quote that is (like several of these others) simultaneously humorous and endearing: "When you look around you, you can see nearly whole Ireland. And you will have a special feeling. You can compare it with flying."